How to get back on the horse

For the last few, ahem, months, I’ve thought almost daily about my blog. I’ve started quite a few blog posts – in my head, of course, but often found the usual blog chattering had been replaced with silence. 

As the months rolled together, I’ve thought about how to get back into it – I started a new site which would feature my new brand and a new concept; I redefined my blogging space several times. I then decided that in order to prevent another writing hiatus, I had to have at least four blog posts ready to be published. But what actually happened? I didn’t ever finish the new website, abandoning it at the first sight of an obstacle; my redefinition fell flat, and well, I don’t have the four posts ready to go.

This week, a friend unexpectedly asked me about my blog; and I had to resist my usual defensiveness and just reveal that well I’ve fallen off the horse and stayed fallen. I promised him that I’ll have a blog published by the end of the week.

Once I fell out of habit, I decided that my "comeback" needed bells and whistles; it had to be “extra special” to excuse my inaction. When we trip and stray, we create multiple roadblocks that keep us further from our goals and justify our inability, insecurity, lack of commitment, shifted priorities etc or whatever it was that tripped us up.  

So what are the steps involved in getting back on the horse?

Step 1: Get back on the horse

Step 2: Gallop and keep going

I've been reminded that the best thing we can do for ourselves is literally to just do it; there's no need to find a new horse, or adorn the old, find a new stepping stool, or as my pastor said today, pray about it.

So here I go, getting back on this horse; writing and sharing me. Thank you for your support!

Still halfstepping!

Half-stepping Diva

Oh...Never Mind!

And just like that, we're done with the first month of 2015. Boy that went by pretty quickly! With over 31 days under our belt, we've had enough time to form some new habits (it takes 21 days of consistency for a habit to stick). Did you make any resolutions, goals or plans for  how you wanted to shape 2015. How have you been doing so far? How much have you accomplished? Is your goal still on your mind?

I recently read an article that February 2 is the day that those who do, give up on their goals/resolutions/NY changes. I get it. I myself thought as I indulged in ice cream and nutella that clearly is not in my goals, that since the next day is the 1st of February, it would be a good time to get back on the horse and restart my resolve. And then on February 1st found new ways to give myself a break from my goals (it's Sunday, I'm tired, the cookies are right there, it will take forever to cook a real meal, I'm starving! I need a nap, I'll work out later enough to burn ALL the calories I've eaten etc). Then I read the article and realized that I was headed straight to the February 2nd stop. I immediately hopped off that train!

So did you make it past February 2nd? Have you given up on making things right with your family? or giving up coke? or cooking healthier meals? or simply loving yourself more? Are you back in the same place you were last year and maybe the previous years?

In case you're on the February 2nd bandwagon, here are a few tips to get you off and towards things that matter to you!


-Write out what you want to change. Even if you're already done this, it's good to be reminded of what your goals are.

-Recommit to your goals by  listing what it will take to get there. For example, in order for me to work out before work, I must wake up by 5:30am which means I must actually get to bed on time.

-Remember that there's nothing magical about tomorrow, or Mondays or your anniversary to start something. Today's as good a day as any.

-Understand that though you often feel super, you will have challenges and simply have to start over. It's completely ok to stumble when you're working towards a goal; I believe stumbles give our success dimension and a better appreciation for our deserved reward. Even you, as determined as you are, will lose track sometimes. Just get back on it.

-You will not fail. For many of us, our starting point is failure. We look at the past, or other people's experiences and decide that we will never get that thing we really want. But we put on our fake confidence mask and half-heartedly pursue our goals anyway, only to balk when challenges arise. You will not fail; it might take a few attempts, longer than other people and revisions to your strategy, but you will not fail. Keep trying.

-Remember your  motivation. Why is this thing important to you?  Remind yourself of why you want to make this accomplishment and use that to spur you on.

-Be your own cheerleader. I am time-challenged...as in I know the time, but you know, I'll get there. This year, I'm working on becoming more time-conscious. I get scoffed at all the time when I share this goal, not because my support system is mean, but we often just don't see how others will change that thing that seems so ingrained. Whenever I am able to adhere to my schedule, I celebrate myself a little and use that to keep trying.

So let's keep working on making 2015 an amazing year! I would love to hear your thoughts! 

Half-stepping diva

The Dreadmill

In my Getting Started  post, I talked about being on the treadmill and how I started slowly and then built it up and was finally able to run for 5 miles. What a successful story of triumph over the treadmill and the gym....And flowers and rainbows and unicorns and yeaaaa, if only it were that simple.

Oh the treadmill, how I love/detest thee! I decided to use the treadmill as my starting point at the gym. It was an old and familiar friend that had gotten me to my weight loss goals in the past so it was easy to hop on and run walk.

At the beginning, I didn't think it would be very difficult. Though I wasn't in shape, it was something that I had done before. How out of shape could I really be?! Well I soon found out that I couldn't pass a high school PE class! Initially, this didn't bother me very  much, until I spotted all the forty, fifty, sixty and seventy year olds going at a faster pace. Goodness gracious, how embarrassing!

I started paying attention to my fellow competitors, I mean gym members. There was a huge variety of them and many like myself, favored the treadmill. I observed that some of them would cover the display screen with a magazine or towel, some would read the entire time (how could they do that and run?!), others would get on the treadmill and simply run, while others came with their gym buddies and spent  more time talking than walking. One guy in particular would come in, hop on the treadmill and run at a dizzying speed for about 30 to 45 min and then leave. Oh how I wanted to have that talent!

It's a Mental Thang
Armed with my observations, I put together my own version of my treadmill experience. I would usually start with a 2 minute walk to warm up. The first few minutes of running after that were the most difficult. If I could get my mind to push through, it was easy enough to complete the workout. I also started to understand why folks covered the display screen. I would be huffing and puffing on the treadmill, having beaten the first few minutes and convinced myself to stay on, only to look down and find out that I had only be on there for a total of 6 minutes and still had about 24 whole long minutes to go! My feet would feel like bricks and I would instantly feel completely tired!

Running on a motorized platform that was not going anywhere soon got old and required major mental muscle to stay on. I found distractions that kept me running. I had noticed a sign that was posted in front of my machine of choice (yes by this time I had a specific machine that I preferred and would wander around the gym until it became available).  The sign was simple enough: it alerted gym members that there was  time limit for treadmill use and referred members to a wait list at the front desk if all treadmills were in use. I noticed that the second treadmill in the sign had 3 L's instead of 2 and this became my focus to get through my runs. I would start running and immediately want to quit and look at the sign, chuckle a bit to myself and then stare it down for the remainder of the time, willing the 3rd L to disappear.


When this technique would not work, I would stare out the window in front of me and count the number of cars that went by. Or if there were children playing basketball, I would keep score for them or cheer for them as they developed their skills on the court. I also learned to trick my brain by convincing myself that once I had completed 50% or 60% or 75% of the workout, I could walk. Once I got to the agreed upon point, I would talk myself into finishing it. 

Once I became comfortable with the treadmill, I started competitive running. Well, ok, I competed with whomever was on the treadmill to them, unknown to them of course. I would slyly glance over to see their speed and at least match it, often times cranking mine up towards the end to beat them. That attempt to keep up would spur me on and I would often hit faster speeds than I intended just so that I can "beat" them!


Endurance
As I kept challenging my heart on the treadmill, I started noticing that it would take me a bit longer to get it racing. I also noticed that I didn't wear out as quickly doing other exercises.

 

HIIT

Since then I've learned how to be more efficient on the treadmill. I added a burst at the end of each run to challenge my heart: I started around 7.0 mph and have gone up to 9.5 mph. I also use the High Intensity Interval Training technique to burn maximum fat in the shortest period of time.  I start with a 2-3 minute warm up (walk), followed by 2 minutes at 6.7 mph, 40 sec at 7.5 mph and 20 sec at 9.0 mph and then 2 min rest at 3.0-4.0 mph and then repeat it. I do about 3-5 sets of this for a total of 15-25 minutes. This technique can be done at any level; the key is to find a goal speed and work towards it.   

 

Though I found the treadmill to be a dread, it became the starting point for my come back into fitness. With the newfound endurance I'm able to push myself in all my workouts. The weight loss I experienced as a result of the treadmill helped build my confidence to keep working on my fitness and weight loss goals.

 

Lessons learned

1. Just run: whether it's on the treadmill or out in the open, just run (jog) or walk if that's what works

2. It takes a time and consistent effort to build endurance. Lack of consistency will require restarting each time. 

3. Like anything in life, if you believe it, you can make great friends with the treadmill

4. Distracting yourself on the treadmill can allow you to push through an especially tough workout

5. A little friendly competition is good for your heart

6. HIIT is an efficient way to maximize your workout, it can be done on the treadmill or really with any cardio workout.

7. The treadmill is a good starting point, as well as a great part of a workout at any level.

 

Did you see what this guy does on the treadmill?! Anything to keep you going!

 

 

Half-stepping diva

Getting started

The last time I was in Ghana, everyone commented on how much weight I had gained. Most people hadn't seen me in years and immediately noticed that I was carrying some extra...ahem.."curves". I took this in stride though I had myself been having internal battles about my weight and resolved that something had to be done pronto.

My first time on the treadmill, I started a brisk walk at 3.5 mph; shortly after I had to take that down to 2.0 mph. I breathlessly stayed on there for about 15 minutes before giving up. A friend had started instructing a class called Zumba Fitness and had asked me to come to the class to support her. I had never heard of it but was delighted to be there at her debut. After the warm up song, I thought my heart was going to beat itself out of my chest and plop onto the floor. I hung in there, completely convinced that it would just take the next song to get me closer to my demise. It was a wonderful experience that had me wishing I could come back the next day for more!  I took my first yoga class shortly after Zumba. I was amazed that the instructor's gut stretched out further past mine; how could she be the instructor. I had to pick my face off the floor when she folded herself into a nice pretzel shortly afterwards...I had clearly misjudged that book by the cover! I struggled through the poses and noticed that I was the youngest in the class and the least flexible!

It took a few false starts for me to get to working out. Other than Zumba, I had a hard time getting to the gym. I would get home from work "exhausted", eat and sit in front of the TV for a few minutes which would quickly stretch into an hour and then two and then wow, the gym is closing in 30 minutes, I'll just have to wake up really early tomorrow so that I can go before work. Or other times I'll get home, change and eat something and then "let the food digest a bit". This digestion process would generally take about 2 hours and by the time I realized it was too late. Or sometimes it would rain...who wants to walk 20 brief seconds in the rain, drive 5 minutes and then take another brief 20 second walk in the rain, anyhow.

Many other times I would actually get into the gym, start working out only to experience a cramp, or my chest might start to hurt, or shin hurt or something else would flare up, like the heartburn that only showed up when I was working out...and well  I couldn't work out through any of that, so my run would slow into a walk and I would abandon the workout all together.

I soon realized that I wasn't going to get anywhere with this inconsistency at the gym. I was able to figure out all the self-placed obstacles/ excusese and worked on removing them. I prepped my food for the day to include a snack that I could eat shortly before my workout. I can't quite remember what I would eat during that beginning stage, but my pre-workout snacks have included a banana and peanuts/peanut butter, 8 oz chocolate milk, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, yogurt with pineapple, cereal with milk, trail mix, and a granola bar. I also started watching my spicy food intake: I realized that I could eat spicy foods until about 1pm after which I would need some kind of antacid to combat the heartburn. I learned breathing exercises that would help me through the side cramps and learned to ignore the pain anywhere else. I also organized my workout clothes separately so that I didn't have to spend time digging through to find something decent to wear.


As my workouts increased I subscribed to anything that had to do with weight loss. I read all those articles, you know which ones...10 things you must do at the gym, 10 other things you should be doing, Are you sabotaging your workout, 50 ways to eat fruit, 50 more ways to eat fruit, 10 superfoods of 2009, new superfoods of 2010, the superfoods of the future you should be eating now! Supplements, are they for you? Your 21 day workout plan, Your 21 day total body work plan, Your 21 day abs workout plan, Did you stretch your booty today?
What? Ok, i'm making them up, but I have read a lot of articles about health and fitness since 2009. I also signed up for various online journal sources, or health vaults and trackers and food diaries etc.

So with my new found dedication, my new knowledge about how to lose weight, I plowed ahead expecting pounds to fall off as easily as I'd gained them. After about a month of getting into my groove, I stepped on the scale to find that I had lost 0 pounds! I was completely shattered. It didn't work! I was eating like they said, I was working out....I was in the gym as much as those working there for goodness sakes!

Once I calmed down, well after I binged on some chocolate in response, I pulled out one of those articles...it promised that I would "Lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks". What? Sign me up! The program would meet me at whatever speed I could run, which by this time had climbed up to about 4.0mph or a 15 min mile pace on the treadmill. I started the 6 week challenge and by the end of the year run for 5 miles at 5.0mph or a 12 min mile. And the scale, she moved! Not quite 10 pounds, but I saw my first significant change.

Lessons learned.
1. Start where you are most comfortable; the beginning of your new lifestyle should not be when you try something new.
2. If you're not enjoying your workout, you will not be consistent
3. Spending time working out does not automatically result in change; effort is just as important as showing up
4. It's easy to make excuses as to why we don't do something, and it's easy to talk ourselves into believing the excuse
5. Some of us need a program to stay on course: for me the running program allowed me to try harder each day
6. Motivation is important and oftentimes in life, we have to learn how to motivate ourselves.

In the first few months of starting my new lifestyle, I learned that there was much work to be done. It wasn't as easy as it had been in the past and I had a lot to learn about myself and my body. I truly thought at the time that it wouldn't take me very long to get the weight off, but have since learned that like many other aspects of our life, weight loss requires finding the right formula for our individual situation. It has taken me about 4 years to find that formula and I certainly hope it takes you much less time than that.

Half-stepping diva

Bulge be gone

And it finally happened!

I have had my weight loss goals on my mind for quite a while. It turns out as you get older, things like a slower metabolism, lack of activity, and emotional eating become a big part of our lives. And I've been no exception. For the last 6 years I have had a love hate relationship;  with my scale, with the line that pops up in my midsection and the beautiful clothes that only look flattering on a mannequin. It's really been a battle for me and in learning how to get rid of my excess baggage, I've come out with a wealth of information and made a few friends along the way.

I've actually analyzed my weight issues. Now to most I don't have a weight issue. One of the things I've learned is that weight is really a subjective matter and it's an issue that comes from our perception of what it should be, what others tell us it should be or a combination of those two. For me, I had gained more weight than my frame could handle and I needed it gone to really experience the confidence that I was faking. I remember a birthday when I looked into my closet and had a complete meltdown because my birthday outfit seemed to seek out my fat pockets and put them on display. Or the times when I would wear an outfit, feeling great only to see pictures and see my belly sticking out. This went on for years... and though I haven't made a fuss about it, most people around me became aware that I desperately wanted to lose the extra fat I was carrying around. I've had a few friends scoff at me when I've talked about my weight, especially about the extra fat I carry in my midsection. Their disbelief/disdain is actually acceptable because I have generally done a good job hiding how big my belly really is.

Belly
I think it was in 5th grade. A few of us had formed a dance group and were performing for the class. Afterwards a couple of friends noted that while I was dancing, my belly was doing it's own dance and that when I walked into a room my belly walked in first. I was so crushed and that was the end of my dancing. I tearfully talked to my mother about it; up to this time she'd been reassuring me that it was just baby fat and would disappear as I got older. Clearly that hadn't happened so we had to go to plan b. She taught me how to hold my stomach in and as I'm sitting typing this, that's exactly what I am doing.
The extra fat around my belly has especially been bothersome to me because several studies have shown the danger of carrying extra weight around the midsection (vs. around hips, thighs, etc). The amount of visceral fat (midsection fat) determines how much fat surrounds the organs in our abdominal section and a higher amount of visceral fat has been directly linked to chronic diseases including diabetes, heart disease, hypertension etc. I've read many studies that suggest that a woman whose midsection measures more than 35 inches was carrying excess visceral fat. Until about a few months ago the biggest point of my midsection measured around 38 inches (for perspective, my hips measure no more than 42 inches). I definitely wanted this number to be much lower, if not for aesthetics, at least for my health.

Food
I am one of the pickiest eaters that I know. I don't care for vegetables, I don't like trying new foods, don't like certain textures (mushroom & eggplant come to mind), don't like anything sour, or acidic (no pickles, thank you), or bitter (eek what's that bitter taste in my salad). I prefer my food fried and sweet...which means my favorite food has been and will always be fried plantain...and not just fried plantain, it has to be well seasoned, cut into the right size (not chunky) and fried to a beautiful just past golden brown color to obtain the right crunch. Yup I have a very picky palate. As a child, I didn't like my vegetables cooked, didn't really like raw vegetables, and was a vegetarian. In my ideal world, I would eat bread, rice, any baked goods, sugar and chocolate. Actually forget the bread and such, I would just eat chocolate and ice cream all day. I have a sweet tooth with matching dental cavities and dental bills to prove it. When it comes to sugar and especially chocolate, my brain only understands go...there's no stop mechanism at all. And to top it all, I have been vegetarian most of my life...which makes all this rather confusing. 

My mother is a caterer and an excellent cook. Growing up, she whipped up various foods and didn't make much of a fuss about what I didn't like. When I moved to the US. it was a completely different story. My  high school lunch consisted of cheese pizza, fries, crackers, maybe some fruit. It wasn't much better at home and slowly but surely I started gaining weight. College proved to be even more of a challenge. I had access to unlimited meals including cereal bars, French fries for days, a salad bar which I avoided, taco bars, pizza bars and all the sweet drinks I could enjoy. I also developed a habit of eating while I was studying which meant for a student that I was eating all the time. I gained 15 lbs by the end of my first quarter; 30  lbs by the end of the year. My cheeks were like balloons and nothing in my closet fit, which became problematic because there was no mall in sight in the little village of Athens. Sometime in my second year, I realized that my diet had to change and I started eating less, not necessarily healthier just less. I lost all  30lbs and finished college about the same weight I started. After college, I worked for about a year. During that time I had 3 jobs and not much time to cook. I lost weight and weighed the lowest I can remember. I was actually very unhealthy at the time, but there wasn't much I could do as I wasn't living on my own. Then came grad school and having learned from my college years watched what I ate, but still the numbers on the scale rose. Once I was done with grad school, the real world meant that I had full control of my eating, except lunching with coworkers, eating whatever was at hand because I was too tired to cook, emotional eating, and constantly snacking. The scale was a constant painful reminder of my bad eating habits.

Exercise
I wasn't too active in high school. I took PE classes during the year and realized I didn't like &/ understand the concept of running or playing sports. My hand-eye coordination was terrible so tennis, badminton, volleyball etc were all lost on me. I'd never been much of an athlete, though I was a cadet from 6th to 9th grade. In college, time at the gym was more of a social event; there really wasn't much else to do on campus, so the gym I went and did a few workouts here and there. Once I'd gained weight though, the gym became my place to de-stress, workout and to study. I found solace on the stationary bikes, rowing machines and even picked up running on the indoor track. My grad school didn't have a gym nearby so I would do various exercise DVDs  in my room but didn't get much activity in.

Motivation
I didn't really realize how much weight I was gaining until I hit some huge numbers. I made it to 180 lbs in college and that has become the absolute no-no for me since then. During grad school I made it to 170 lbs and realized I had to get a handle on it; but somehow my motivation was often missing. I really didn't like all the extra weight I was carrying around, but it wasn't so bad that I was trying very hard to do something about it.

In all of it, my weight had been another half-stepping opportunity in my world. Somehow I have finally found the right combination, and the weight has been coming off. There's still much work to be done. My ultimate goal for my weight loss has shifted from a number on the scale to sculpting muscles and discovering if I can  have a 6-pack, a 4-pack or at least something like that looks like flat abs.

I've learned from talking to my 30 something year old friends that weight loss is a vital part of our world, so I'll be sharing my winning weight loss combination over a few blog posts. I'm excited to work towards the next level and I hope you will all join me for my ride towards a 6 pack.

Half-stepping diva