Sudden Impact

I am on the market for a new car...Why? Because a fellow driver was "startled" by another driver and run into my baby. I was minding my own business at a traffic light, waiting for the signal to proceed, instead found myself waiting for a sudden impact that rocked my car and my nerves, sending me in a period of utter lack of control wondering when it would all end. Right after impact, my adrenaline kicked in so high; my thoughts so clear I could have passed the MCAT! I hopped out to see what in the world had possessed someone to cause a 4 car pile-up 1 block from home!

The last two weeks have been filled with gratitude that the damage was only to my car; it could have been much worse. I've talked to more people than I care to, thought through various scenarios including what could have been done differently and more importantly working towards correcting the results of this sudden impact.

So far this experience has been a very expensive inconvenience, but it's not the end of the world. But it has me thinking about severe sudden impacts in our lives that cause us to go into a tailspin, losing utter control and trying to right ourselves.

At some point in our lives we can be impacted by something that happens suddenly and unexpectedly with life-changing consequences. When these things happen we are required to immediately assess the situation, see what can be salvaged and take actions to get our lives back.

The challenge is to find a renewed life that includes enough components of the old life, while showing progress and growth from the experience. Many of us never fully recover from our sudden impacts and like the loss of a limp feel the constant presence of what used to be. Sometimes the impact is so severe that when we find ourselves again are only a hollow shell of what we used to be.

We cannot prepare for all of tomorrow's possibilities. When life happens and we are suddenly impacted, it takes a few moments; be it hours, days, or  years to work through and accept our new situation. Without such acceptance we cannot work towards a new walk. Once accepted, we have to believe that the new version of our lives will be at least just as good as the old, and might even possibly get better if we work towards betterment. And of course we must take actions to ensure that the impact does not have an indelible imprint with bitter consequences, which is what happens when fear steps in and takes  hold.

I've found that processing through a sudden impact is often enhanced by prayer, my writing and spending time with encouraging loved ones. Many friends and loved ones have provided me perspective about the accident. I have also talked to friends who are experienced in the dealings with insurance and with car dealerships.  As the dust is setting and everyone is returning to their normal lives, I am assessing what is salvageable and finding my new normal. The car is definitely totaled, and has to be replaced. My new normal is a new or new to me car which has to be purchased very shortly. I am taking concerted and specific actions towards replacing my car by talking to friends in the car dealership business as well as friends who have purchased cars recently and going for test drives and talking to the car dealerships.

So like my mom says, live in the living present; we can't erase sudden impacts, but can ensure their impacts leave us better than before. Fight for a normalcy that includes joy and happiness. Our focus on our lives must be the pursuit of happy living and not just a mere life of survival.


Have you gone through a sudden impact? How have you dealt with it? I would love to hear some of your ways to righting your world.

Happy living, everyone!

Half-stepping Diva

What's in a name?

Half-stepping diva?  Say huh?  For those of you who know me, you know I’m hardly a diva. Well, on most days, anyway. I chose the name half-stepping diva because I find myself half-stepping…very often. Tiana who blogs on www.thinkingstilletos.com, discusses being a procrastinating perfectionist.  And I must say that those two words describe me absolutely perfectly. In my mind, I want everything as perfect as possible. Most times I actually try to make that happen. In reality, I like to wait until the last possible moment to make the perfectionism manifest…usually with highly dismal results.

 In the last few months in seriously examining my life, I realized that I live in a lukewarm world. I am neither hot nor cold about most things, and have been skating through life in survival mode so much that I have landed in the world of “I can go either way”. I realized I have been half-stepping. I always admired people in college who could play hard and work hard. On Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and sometimes Sundays, they would be out enjoying the world through a bottle, the dance floor and maybe a companion. For the rest of the week, they managed to stay at the top of their class. Me, I was never out during the week, spent moderate time partying, and came up with lukewarm grades.  

As I am still a perfectionist, I strive for the best hoping to at least break even and often settle for less than I’m worth…still half-stepping. I am quite conservative, but very much a liberal…nope not a moderate, but rather a conservative liberal. I think big, dream big, and want more…only when I allow myself to think, dream or want…actions which are apparently needed to achieve more…still half-stepping.

In all of it, I have managed to accomplish a bit. I moved to a new country and into a completely new system as a teenager, suffered through living in suburban Ohio, went to college and graduated with two degrees and then worked on a Masters in one of the largest cities in the U.S. I have been at the same job for almost five years. I’ve been fairly accomplished despite my half-stepping tendencies.

So, as I have been created for excellence, I need to work out of this neither here nor there attitude. This blog is to help me remember this and to work towards being a woman of excellence.  Working through mediocrity means fighting complacency, staying focused, increasing strength (mental, physical & spiritual), and seeing projects all the way through to the end…no longer half-stepping.  

Half-stepping Diva