In the last few months in seriously examining my life, I
realized that I live in a lukewarm world. I am neither hot nor cold about most
things, and have been skating through life in survival mode so much that I have
landed in the world of “I can go either way”. I realized I have been
half-stepping. I always admired people in college who could play hard and work
hard. On Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and sometimes Sundays, they would be out
enjoying the world through a bottle, the dance floor and maybe a companion. For
the rest of the week, they managed to stay at the top of their class. Me, I was
never out during the week, spent moderate time partying, and came up with
lukewarm grades.
As I am still a perfectionist, I strive for the best hoping
to at least break even and often settle for less than I’m worth…still
half-stepping. I am quite conservative, but very much a liberal…nope not a
moderate, but rather a conservative liberal. I think big, dream big, and want
more…only when I allow myself to think, dream or want…actions which are
apparently needed to achieve more…still half-stepping.
In all of it, I have managed to accomplish a bit. I moved to
a new country and into a completely new system as a teenager, suffered through
living in suburban Ohio, went to college and graduated with two degrees and
then worked on a Masters in one of the largest cities in the U.S. I have been
at the same job for almost five years. I’ve been fairly accomplished despite my
half-stepping tendencies.
So, as I have been created for excellence, I need to work out
of this neither here nor there attitude. This blog is to help me remember this
and to work towards being a woman of excellence. Working through mediocrity means fighting
complacency, staying focused, increasing strength (mental, physical &
spiritual), and seeing projects all the way through to the end…no longer
half-stepping.
Half-stepping Diva
