We were friends from childhood and he was the first boy to
give me butterflies. When I moved from Ghana, he wrote to me and often. We
talked on the phone whenever we could. We shared a love of music and he sent me
CDs of the latest music in Ghana whenever he could. He was instrumental during
my high school years…encouraging me to stay strong regardless of what I was
experiencing and how difficult it was for me to adjust to my new world. In
college he kept up with the letters and phone calls. During this time we got
closer…after some time apart. We were both growing up and experiencing
different phases of our lives. Being four years older meant that he experienced
life before I did and got to give me advice as to how to manipulate through my
world. Thanks to technology, we were able to keep in touch with emails and more
regular phone calls. I was in grad school when he died. Less than a week before
his passing we had chatted online…the last thing we exchanged before he logged
off was “I love you”. This has been a very reassuring part of me losing my
friend…he knew I love him.
Since then I have lost few other loved ones…each time it was
even more difficult to accept that I would never talk to them or see them
again.
Losing my friend taught me quite a bit. We had been friends
for so long and many times I took our friendship for granted. After he passed
and I started to mourn his loss, I realized that my tears of sadness had become tears of regret…I was really crying
because I regretted not spending more time with him or talking more to him or
whatever else I could come up with. That feeling impressed on me so much more
than realizing that I had lost him. I could accept that it was God’s will and
that he was in a better place. But I struggled with the idea that I hadn’t done
more as a friend.
This ushered me into a place of growth…I realized that life
really is too short and I could not afford living in regret. This meant that I
had to take others into consideration in all my actions. If anything were to
happen to them, I could not afford to be regretful about the way I treated
them. This meant spending more time with people I love, being positive around
them, taking care of them, and loving them with all of me. My goal with all the
connections I have made is to give them my best.
 |
| Gift from Yao in 1998 |
So Yao, this blog is
dedicated to you. Thank you for being such a friend to me. Thanks for being my
first valentine…you’ll always be my valentine. Even though you passed on our favorite
holiday, I will always celebrate Valentine ’s Day with love in my heart. And I
will continue to share my love with all the special people around me. Happy birthday, sweetie. Much love always.
Half-stepping diva
