Celebrating

Two years ago, I decided to start blogging. I wanted to work on my skills as a writer while honoring a friend whose death taught me the importance of living a life of no regrets, and loving on everyone in my space as much as possible. I was also inspired by feelings of uncertainty and  unaccomplishment and especially after I realized in talking to others approaching 30, in their 30s and even beyond, all of whom I have dubbed "30 something year olds" that it was a common feeling.

In the last two years it has been a challenge keeping up with my commitments, but I have learned how much  my work input influences what is actually happening in my life. The blog has also given me opportunity to process my world on a deeper level. I certainly hope something I've discussed resonates with someone out there.

As I hit the two year mark, I am taking a moment to examine how it all fits in my world and how to make this better. I'm also celebrating the memory of my friend and inspiration. He would have been 35 today.

So to start, I have made a commitment to continue to use this platform as originally intended; to give me space to fully express myself. I also want to use it to discuss some of the topics that are near to me: the world through the eyes of women, our health, weight loss, body image, Africa, building ourselves to be the best, and stripping away uncertainty and stepping out with confidence. I recognize that I will often half-step; and will falter, but as long as I keep making an effort, I know it's not in vain.

You might notice that I have finally moved the blog to its own domain: www.halfsteppingdiva.com. If you haven't already subscribed, please do so; it'll get updates right to your inbox and allow me to have an idea how many folks have access. I welcome comments and suggestions and hope we can grow together, dismantling the things that hold us back, and continue to step up to reach higher.

Giving you all my best,
Half-stepping diva

What about your friends?

This week I had the chance to talk about a friend. I’ve known him forever…at least since we were in elementary school. We’ve kept in touch pretty much since, not necessarily on a regular basis, but here and there and as major life events happened. So when given the chance to provide information about my friend, I felt pretty confident that I could provide good, solid information.

And then the questions started. I sat with a blank stare, trying to remember the year I met him..was  it 5^th grade, 6^th, 2^nd grade? Hmmm ok next question, where has he lived…em…in his house? Where did he attend school? University? Degree? Em, em, em, em, how many…ok stop! This is my friend! I should know the answers to all these questions! But one after the other, I was left mumbling, trying to figure out if I could draw answers, mixing up his life with the lives of others in our cohort. Wow, I guess I don’t remember as much as I should!

Now I can say I’m a big picture kind of person. I tend to take a global perspective and ignore the little bits that make it happen. Of course since I’m complicated, in many situations like when I’m helping coordinate an event or editing, I become overly concerned with the itty bitty tiny details and often lose sight of the big picture. But I guess when it comes to my friendships at some point some of the details get replaced. As I interact with more people, the specific information about individuals mostly fade into the  background! I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but it was rather startling to realize how much I did not know/remember about many other friends, many of whom I relate to, very closely.

30 something year olds, not unlike 3 year olds, make lots of connections; on the job, at social events, religious gatherings, etc. In fact, it is imperative to keep connected to people of various backgrounds and trades as we ourselves climb up our career or social ladders - It really is about who you know. It's necessary to send a quick hallo every once in a while to that friend from college, as much as it is to stay in touch with your ace boon.

Many of us now rely on Facebook® to help us keep tabs on our friends. We often don't even reach out, just take a look at pictures or posts and say awww. We feel very informed about their lives based on the snippets that they share on social media. Our Facebook® friends list doesn't match our phone numbers list at all...and we have quickly grown accustomed to living life in this world of oversharing only a small part of what we are experiencing...much of it scripted and hollow.

So with this new realization, I am taking a closer look at my inner circle and trying to remember details about their lives - I might have to ask them a few questions! I recognize that I can't keep all details about everyone, but I should be able to answer questions about those that I hold dear to my heart!  

A quick exercise for you:
Who are your close friends (not counting significant others and blood related family)?
What do they currently do at their job/school?
What level of education have they completed?
If university level educated, what degree(s) have they completed?
Where have they lived in the last 10 years (cities/countries)?
What do they like to do for fun?
When was the last time you talked to them?


I would love to know what you learned. Please comment below and share!

Half-stepping diva

A sugar-free challenge



"I will NEVER eat chocolate again! OMG! What? Why? And who made that decision?! Seriously? Are you mad?!" -This is what was floating through my mind when I determined that a sugar-free lifestyle was more suitable for me.

The thought of never eating another piece of chocolate completely overwhelmed me, stressed me out and well, as you can imagine, I ended the day indulging in at least a bag of chocolate. Take that, sugarless lifestyle! 

It has definitely been a challenge working sugar out of my system and a bigger challenge convincing myself to sustain it. The forever aspect of it still overwhelms me...so you mean I will not eat cake at my wedding? (Oooh the brain travels far and fast, eh?) And how does it work with my family? Will others understand this lifestyle that I clearly do not understand myself? Will they support me? Will they sabotage and give me sugar whenever they can? Can I really stick to this? Do I want to do this? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Ok, let's pause and get a hold of ourselves a bit. A sugar-free lifestyle is not much of a stretch for me, I mean I'm already vegetarian and have a highly restricted palate. In fact, my mom’s desire for me as a child was to live life without added sugar. She specifically fed me all the fruits and veggies she could so that I would develop a taste for them. When we moved in with my grandmother, she was instructed not to give me any candy as grandparents usually do, and as grandparents usually do, she went firmly against it and voila! the sweet tooth monster was unleashed! My mother herself at some point gave up sugar. For all my childhood, I never saw her eat candy or any of the delicious cake with lots of icing that she made. She didn't even add sugar to the foods that usually called for sugar. So why can't I imagine doing the same in my life?

Well, sugar has become such an integral part of our palate. Think of what you have eaten so far today or recently? How many of the foods contained sugar? Eating sugar really has become such a no-brainer for all of us. From breakfast to dinner, we have several opportunities to load up on it and we usually don't let the opportunity pass by. Even those who do not have much "taste for sugar" (what does that even mean?!) and prefer savory/salty foods still consume sugar in large quantities.

Since I've been working on this new lifestyle, there have been many opportunites to try again. I

usually set time periods for my goal that allowed me to focus and stay disciplined. After the time period, I would "briefly" pause to savor some of the foods that I had been avoiding. This would usually stretch out into a few days (or weeks!) after which I would recommit myself to my cause. At some point, I decided I had been off sugar enough not to crave it and could just have "a little here and there"...alas, no. Soon as I worked in back in my diet it was like we had never been separated! Come to mama!

So now what? I am currently working on a body sculpting goal that requires the utmost discipline, which means, no added sugar until the goal is met (however long I decide to stretch out getting there!) There will be some birthday celebrations in between, and I plan on celebrating however it comes - I won't go out of my way to pursue sugar. For other times, I will politely decline and if necessary explain.

And for the rest of my life?! Well it's still an overwhelming thought. Some of my favorite foods require, yes, require sugar. I bake quite often and though I can sweeten my pastries with fruit, sometimes a girl needs cookies that taste like cookies! And my chocolate -well, dark chocolate is very good for your heart. In fact, 1.6 oz/daily has been shown to improve heart health (but who can eat only 1.6 oz!) Everything in moderation, right? The bottom line, good health!

I am more aware of my triggers to binge (stress, boredom, emotions, just because, self-sabotage/ reward for doing well) and I will continue to avoid having chocolate at home. I know sugar is not THE enemy and avoiding it is only one part of the solution to good health, so I will not villainize or obsess about it.

I challenge you to work sugar completely out of your diet or at least reduce it. Can you imagine your world without sugar? Can you go a week, 3 weeks, forever without it? Do you already lead a sugarfree lifestyle -how do you do it?


P.S. In case you missed it, I discussed my love of sugar and our break-up in this post, and why we had to break up here.

Sweetly yours
Half-stepping diva

Still sugar loving

I'm sitting here enjoying my pudding...no worries, since I was reminded of my goals in life, I have definitely been really off the added sugar, though the last 2 remaining cones look so lonely in the freezer! Anyways, earlier in this post, I talked about my love for sugar and adopting a sugar-free lifestyle. So let's talk about how it worked out for me.

1. I started by assessing how much added sugar I eat.
In the U.S. sugar is added to the oddest foods. I had to stop using a particular seasoned salt because the second ingredient was sugar. It turned out many other foods I ate were chock full of sugar; many of the low fat options which have been touted as more diet-friendly and healthier have been loaded with sugar to make them more....well palatable.
I started reading about the different names of sugar, which include: anhydrous dextrose, brown sugar, cane crystals, cane sugar, corn sweetener, corn syrup, corn syrup solids, crystal dextrose, evaporated cane juice, fructose sweetener, fruit juice concentrates, high-fructose corn syrup, honey, liquid fructose, malt syrup, maple syrup, molasses, pancake syrup, raw sugar, syrup, white sugar, carbitol, concentrated fruit juice, corn sweetener, diglycerides, disaccharides, evaporated cane juice, erythritol, Florida crystals, fructooligosaccharides, galactose, glucitol, glucoamine, hexitol, inversol, isomalt, maltodextrin, malted barley, malts, mannitol, nectars, pentose, raisin syrup, ribose rice syrup, rice malt, rice syrup solids, sorbitol, sorghum, sucanat, xylitol and zylose.

So how much sugar is in it
1 teaspoon of granulated sugar = 4 grams. So if my food contains 8 grams of sugar, I'm consuming about 2 teaspoons. In some foods such as fruit, naturally high in sugar, this number can look alarming: a serving of my daily banana contains 17g of sugar; about 4 teaspoons of sugar. As these sugars are naturally occurring, I did not eliminate them from my diet; my focus was on added sugar. An easy example of added sugar is a can of soda which contains 39 g of sugar; almost 10 tsp of sugar.

And how much added sugar should you eat?
Well, the new WHO guidelines recommend less than 5% of your daily caloric intake should come from added sugar. For most folks this will be around 25 g or 6 teaspoons of sugar.

I was eating more added than any of the recommended guidelines, even the previous ones of less than 10% of my daily caloric intake.

2. I found alternatives to some of my favorite foods that contain a lot of sugar.
I switched the seasoned salt, spaghetti sauce, and other foods that really didn't need sugar, like my honey covered peanuts. I love pancakes but between the sugar in the batter and the syrup was consuming almost 50g of sugar if I used 1/4 cup of syrup. So now I don't eat  pancakes as often, and when I do blend bananas into the batter and top it with fruit (berries etc).


3. I eliminated slowly.
The most obvious source of sugar for me is chocolate. I simply gave it up, there was no way to gradually taper that off. For other sugar sources, I started by using less. For example, I enjoy a nice cup of chai tea w a good serving of sugar and milk. I started by reducing the amount of sugar until I was down to a half-teaspoon.

4. I discovered new ways to eat my food. 
My breakfast consisted of high fiber cereal, most of which contains added sugar. I switched to oats which I did not sweeten and opted instead to top it with raisins and walnuts. I learned to love green tea, once I learned how to brew it and completely eliminated adding sugar to it. And though I don't drink it as often, drink my chai tea plain. I also diversified my palate and started adding more protein to my breakfast.

4. I avoided processed foods.
Cooking helps determine exactly what goes into the food and generally eliminates a lot of sugar. We trust the food industry a little too much with our health. Back to basics. My cooking has gotten more creative. The pudding I'm eating is sweetened with a few dates. The other ingredients are pure cocoa powder (the bitter antioxidant containing stuff), milk (cow or nonsweetened soy) and tofu (I know I lost you on that one!).

5. I gained an understanding of why excess sugar is bad for me.
My family has a history of diabetes and a slew of other chronic diseases. My dentist, well, she's probably amassed a small fortune from my dental bills. This year's checkup revealed my health indicator numbers are looking good and have definitely improved over the last year. With this in mind, I have become more determined that this is the lifestyle that fits my goals.

6. I set a specific time to adapt my new lifestyle.
The fast was for 3 weeks. I determined that during that time I would be super disciplined. I also realized 3 weeks was enough for it to become a habit. After the 3 weeks, I extended it and have continued since with mini pauses when life moments have happened or when fear has set it.

Of course it has not been all flowers and roses and cake...ooh cake with icing and ice cream and...! There have been many challenges and many opportunities to try again. Overall it's been a great success and I'm excited for my new lifestyle habits. I'll discuss the challenges in my next blog entry. In the meantime...

Stay sweet (without added sugar of course)

Half-stepping diva

My Sugar love

One of the ladies in my class hadn’t seen me in a bit, and asked yesterday if I was off sugar again. I had to admit to her that yes I was generally off sugar except for the half tub of ice-cream I had over the weekend along with the little cones that I demolished the day before and on my way to class. Why do you ask, I say… She says she could see it….and I was looking good! Oh right! My efforts do show, even when I don’t see it! I guess I’m back off sugar.

 

Saying I have a sweet tooth is an understatement. I truly believe that whatever sensor in our brain that tells it to shut off eating sugar, because our blood glucose has risen too fast, often takes a nap -and for long periods. My shut-off mechanism kicks in only because we have made it to the bottom of the bag and there’s no more. I often tell folks I eat chocolate by the bar or box or whatever container it comes in. As a child, my mother would bring home treats for the whole family…I would eat mine and everyone else’s. There was no stopping. I got sick right after my birthday EVERY YEAR…I would indulge in my birthday cake which my mother lovingly adorned with Smarties (like M&M’s but wayyyyyyyyy better, I have some at home if you would like to try it!) along with all the other sugary foods allowed.  As an adult it got worse because I could simply purchase as much as I wanted. Indeed I regularly keep a few pounds of chocolate at home. I love traveling to new places, usually because I can sample their chocolate. I can’t admit how much I spent on chocolate last year in London…even I was horrified when the lady told me my total….say what?

And I’m not the only one in my family.  My family’s request when I travel…chocolate. Years ago, my brother won a 5 pound Hershey bar…it didn’t take long for me, my father and him to blow through it. Though, my father was recently amazed at how much chocolate I quickly ingested…I guess I take the cake for the sweet tooth of the family….oooh cake! Yum! Ok, ok, I’m back.

So imagine my surprise when for 2014 I successfully gave up added sugar, which of course includes my beloved chocolate! In the past, I have gone for months banning chocolate from touching my lips. This usually happened after an especially punishing binge (2/3 bags or bars in a sitting) after which I talked myself into giving up the chocolate. At the beginning of the year we have a corporate fast at church; I usually do a full Daniel’s fast and eliminate sugar etc (Daniel’s fast eliminates meat among other foods, which I already do, so my focus is on the other parts of the fast). So I’ve done that successfully for a few years now, and had drastically cut down my sugar intake in the process. But in 2014 I decided to make it a lifestyle change and removed added sugar from my diet.

I’ll admit, this was not easy at all. I mean, at all. Sugar cravings will make you forget everything including the fact that you're avoiding sugar! But the reward has been amazing. The first thing I noticed was that contrary to what I thought, my energy levels stayed the same and possibly higher. I am high strung and overly energetic which I had attributed to my sugar intake, but alas, it's all natural baby.  I also noticed that I was not overeating as much. My stop eating mechanism seemed to be functioning a lot more and quicker. And of course my favorite change was my weight adjustment. The scale went below 150 lbs, something I'd been struggling to accomplish - and my midsection got trimmer. I noticed my skin was smoother, probably from losing the fatty tissue accustomed to sitting right underneath it. And the ladies in my class noticed...only after about a week!

So why is sugar the bad guy.
Well this article explains that eating too much added sugar increases the risk of dying with heart disease (even if you're not overweight).

CNN reports here that excessive added sugar consumption can cause fat buildup in the liver which can attribute to obesity, Type II diabetes and cardiovascular disease

And this article from SFGate discusses similar trends including an impaired immune system which prevents your body from fighting viruses, bacteria and other guys bad for our health.

Oh yeah and it contributes to dementia and aging too!

I started the elimination as a part of a 3 week commitment and decided to extend it out. This allowed me to be really focused and work at keeping my commitment. There have certainly been slip ups and oopsies, but my newly adopted lifestyle has shown me that even I, the queen of the sugar world, can put my mind to something and accomplish it. I'll talk more about how I stayed on track and the challenges of a sugar-free world in the next blog entries! Stay tuned.  

Happy living!
 
Half-stepping diva

 

What are you holding onto?

This week, I was asked a simple question by a wisdom-filled woman I've been blessed to be around... "What are you holding onto?"
Huh? I've often heard and asked of myself "what's holding me back?" so this was a new outlook for me!

I shared this question with another blessing in my life who is quite versed in my brand of craziness and without missing a beat, her response was "Stability!" Hmmm...I think she's right, people!

I heart stability! I don't need to rock the boat...for what? I've had the same phone number for 10+ years- I don't know why I hold loyalty to the phone company...they don't provide excellent service, drop calls all the time, their phones are expensive and of no use to me outside of the US..the list of cons goes on. But I stay! I've lived and worked in the same place for the last 6.5 years. The only reason I have a new car is because I had to and even then managed to get a newer version of my previous car-same make, model, and even color!

My world does not change - if I go on vacation, it's because someone prodded me. Routine and schedules are my friends. If I do pick up something new, it will soon become a part of my routine! It is said that good girls rarely make history. Yeah if the history makers were like me, there wouldn't be much to talk about...and we would be stuck in a backwards world!

My desire for stability spans all the different avenues: financial, emotional, relational, etc. I am quite frugal, and that has helped me not spend money on frivilous things (ok not a lot, I mean what do I need all these black shoes for?) . I tend to keep friends for life, or at least try. For my own emotions, I'm fair even keeled. Though those who know me will say I am high strung, ah, I am generally a happy person.

Now I'm not knocking  my firm desire for stability. It is a survival mechanism that has afforded me freedom and peace. But now it has also become a safety blanket; a perceived security. And as a result I find myself stuck in a rut!

So now what? What is a goodytwoshoes-don'trocktheboat-noI'mokrighthere-Icancope to do?

What are you holding onto that's holding you back? What have you done to shake up your world and start digging out of your rut. What chances have you taken on yourself?

I would love to hear your thoughts...meanwhile, I am changing things up; learning spontaneity, ignoring schedules and living in the moment!

Half-stepping diva

Consistently challenged

Ella maneja una carro!

Yes I know that means absolutely  nothing to you, even if you speak Spanish. You see, I decided to add Spanish to my language bank and have invested in Rosetta Stone®, which has promised me that I don’t have to worry about useless memorizations. I am guaranteed to start speaking my language of choice in a few short sessions.

 

I’d say the folks at Rosetta Stone® are right…there are no useless memorizations, though I’m not quite sure learning how to say “She is driving a car” before I learn how to count in Spanish is particularly useful, but hey, I’m with this program..no problemo!

 

The part they leave out, is that regardless of how good a program is, consistency is absolutely important to be successful. When I started with my Spanish lessons, I dedicated about 30 minutes daily to it. This was soon cut down to 20 min, then 15 min, and well I haven’t opened up the software in at least 3 months, maybe more. I still remember ella maneja una carro and that los gatos means cats, but I can’t string any words to make any sense. I’m still quite Spanish illiterate.

 

I’ve found in my world as a 30 something year old, the need for constant consistencies in order to see something happen/change. The most simplified example has been working towards my weight loss and fitness goals.  It’s required consistent effort and when I’ve strayed  have immediately seen my hard work poof into thin air!

Even with my blog entries, I have been inconsistent in the last few weeks. I learned from other bloggers to set a schedule that included specific time for blogging and had been keeping up. Then, life happened and then more life happened, and before I realize, hello July!

 

For me, it’s generally a vicious cycle…when I achieve a mark towards my goal, I feel completely empowered and “reward” myself by not being so disciplined and soon enough, I erase my achievement. If, on the other hand, I don’t get anywhere after trying for "some time", I get discouraged and give it up, determining it wasn’t mine to begin with. In either case, the consistent effort dissipates and we’re right back where we started.

 

Career & Financial stability

30 something year olds often find themselves defining their careers and taking steps towards it. For those in the arts such as actors, consistency is the key to success and working towards a career really means consistently acting, or painting or drawing etc. For other careers consistency means going back to school, or finishing school.  In all cases, creating our brand as hardworking achieving go-getters requires that we are consistent in the excellence we produce at our workplaces.    

Family life

Many 30 something year olds have fairly new marriage life and sometimes children. Consistency for them means working daily with a partner towards common goals, creating consistent habits for children such as teaching them to sleep in their own beds, potty training, mealtime habits, homework etc. For others, consistency means building/sustaining relationships and finding ways to connect with new people.

Spiritual life

As we seek growth, many of us work on strengthening our spiritual walk and aligning ourselves with a specific religion. Many of them require consistent efforts in prayer, reading, or attending services.

Health & Fitness

We are all acutely aware of our health and what role we play in achieving optimal health. Many of us have set goals to healthy eating, which might mean cooking healthy meals, or learning how to cook, and avoiding junk food.  Many of us also have weight loss goals, increasing physical activity and adding a sustainable exercise regimen to our daily lives.

We all need to be able to consistently move towards what we want…until our goal is met, no matter how many tries it takes and how often we fail.

 

Here are some tips to stay consistent

1.       Set realistic goals. Getting to the gym 5 days a week is not a big deal for me…I just have me to take care of. For you parents and people that take care of other people, this might not particularly be realistic.

2.       Set baby goals. Maybe the goal is to make a big purchase. Start with saving a set amount per week ($5) and work your way up to a bigger amount per week ($20)  

3.       Don’t let yourself off the hook. I’ll do it tomorrow is a statement that's as useful for a goal as “5 more minutes”. I know for a fact that if my plan is to do it tomorrow, somehow and quite magically tomorrow never shows up or when he does its usually in about 3 months or a year.

4.       Forgive yourself for slip ups. Consistency does require every something. Be it every day, every week, every hour…whatever the case, if you do slip up, let it go and keep going. Don’t beat yourself up for a simple human behavior. Keep pushing.

5.       Just do it...now! Nike® had the right idea with this tag line. Consistency means nothing if you don’t actually start working towards your goal. So just do it..whatever you’ve been waiting to do, just do it. Do you want to go back to school, learn something new, make new friends, get a new job, learn a new sport, have children? Just do whatever it takes to get you there.

 

She's still half-stepping!

 

Half-stepping Diva

 

Sudden Impact

I am on the market for a new car...Why? Because a fellow driver was "startled" by another driver and run into my baby. I was minding my own business at a traffic light, waiting for the signal to proceed, instead found myself waiting for a sudden impact that rocked my car and my nerves, sending me in a period of utter lack of control wondering when it would all end. Right after impact, my adrenaline kicked in so high; my thoughts so clear I could have passed the MCAT! I hopped out to see what in the world had possessed someone to cause a 4 car pile-up 1 block from home!

The last two weeks have been filled with gratitude that the damage was only to my car; it could have been much worse. I've talked to more people than I care to, thought through various scenarios including what could have been done differently and more importantly working towards correcting the results of this sudden impact.

So far this experience has been a very expensive inconvenience, but it's not the end of the world. But it has me thinking about severe sudden impacts in our lives that cause us to go into a tailspin, losing utter control and trying to right ourselves.

At some point in our lives we can be impacted by something that happens suddenly and unexpectedly with life-changing consequences. When these things happen we are required to immediately assess the situation, see what can be salvaged and take actions to get our lives back.

The challenge is to find a renewed life that includes enough components of the old life, while showing progress and growth from the experience. Many of us never fully recover from our sudden impacts and like the loss of a limp feel the constant presence of what used to be. Sometimes the impact is so severe that when we find ourselves again are only a hollow shell of what we used to be.

We cannot prepare for all of tomorrow's possibilities. When life happens and we are suddenly impacted, it takes a few moments; be it hours, days, or  years to work through and accept our new situation. Without such acceptance we cannot work towards a new walk. Once accepted, we have to believe that the new version of our lives will be at least just as good as the old, and might even possibly get better if we work towards betterment. And of course we must take actions to ensure that the impact does not have an indelible imprint with bitter consequences, which is what happens when fear steps in and takes  hold.

I've found that processing through a sudden impact is often enhanced by prayer, my writing and spending time with encouraging loved ones. Many friends and loved ones have provided me perspective about the accident. I have also talked to friends who are experienced in the dealings with insurance and with car dealerships.  As the dust is setting and everyone is returning to their normal lives, I am assessing what is salvageable and finding my new normal. The car is definitely totaled, and has to be replaced. My new normal is a new or new to me car which has to be purchased very shortly. I am taking concerted and specific actions towards replacing my car by talking to friends in the car dealership business as well as friends who have purchased cars recently and going for test drives and talking to the car dealerships.

So like my mom says, live in the living present; we can't erase sudden impacts, but can ensure their impacts leave us better than before. Fight for a normalcy that includes joy and happiness. Our focus on our lives must be the pursuit of happy living and not just a mere life of survival.


Have you gone through a sudden impact? How have you dealt with it? I would love to hear some of your ways to righting your world.

Happy living, everyone!

Half-stepping Diva

Loving You

Oh lawdie! I don fell off the bandwagon...and it backed up and rolled over me! over and over again! Ok, dramatics, but I did fall off and have lost my consistency in my dietary choices and it shows!

Since I have gotten to a more manageable weight, I decided to keep going and made a goal of discovering/building some ab muscles. You know, I purport to still carrying around some baby fat...no, not from having a baby...from when I was a baby 30 something years ago! And since I have been lackadaisical about my eating habits and my efforts in the gym, my potential for a 6 pack has expanded into the potential for a keg. Ok, still a bit dramatic, but my magic number of 35 inches around my mid section is slowly becoming a thing of the past. And this sister is not happy whatsoever about that!

As a 30 something year old woman I am definitely aware of how my appearance affects my daily interactions. I have used my perception of my body and/ or how it looks in clothes as a block to some things that I have wanted to do. Sometimes while getting ready to go out, I'd get so frustrated with my appearance that I simply would not go. Or decide against making plans in the first place because I didn't want to face the lying 3 way mirror in the dressing room, which has a sole purpose of seeking rolls of fat and putting it on magnified display. Though sometimes trivial, our appearance can be a stumbling block in our confidence and how we portray ourselves. And women are not the only ones who do not always feel confident about our appearance...it's a human thing that also affects our 30 something year old brothers as well...some of them are just better at not caring as much!

So once again, I'm resolving to consistency in my eating. I had cut out all added sugar (blog entry about how I finally lost the weight is coming soon!) but have slowly worked it back in my diet. So, back to what has worked, and focus on sculpting the muscles that I see trying to take shape. But above all those things, I am resolving to love my body no matter what she looks like!

I've recently been reminded of life's realities and with that, the importance of love, starting with love for all of me..including the silver hairs forming at my temples, my "athletic" build, my interestingly shaped toes and all those fat rolls that seem to only appear when I need to feel my best. I must love all of it. We often find faults with our body and harp on it, whether it's the acne that make us look 12 rather than 30 something, the extra body hairs that make us think of our Auntie Sally's mustache, premature graying, skinny legs, baldness, man boobs, a crooked smile or whatever we think should look better in order for us to feel great. But these are all the things that make us who we are and we often do not have control over them - no matter how hard I try, I will not grow past the 5'7" at which I currently stand (in fact, I might shrink as I get older!)

So as I chase the appearance for which I've been working so hard, I will continue to love me and not be so quick to criticize and demean myself. All of me is perfect. Period.

Half-stepping Diva

What is you waiting for?

It doesn't take very long for 30 something year olds to realize that life is whatever we make of it. We actually have to get up and do something if we want it. It often starts after school when we learn that we have to actually apply for a job, attend interviews and hopefully get employed. If we want a spouse, we have to go out there and meet someone (if we haven't already), court and then work our way towards marriage. There is no longer a wait and it'll happen...whatever we want, we must pursue.

Most of us understand this concept in its broad sense. I mean, there are very few people at this stage of life waiting for someone to offer them a job just because their name is John or Mary, but somehow we find a way to wait for life to happen in other aspects of our world.

How often we do hear, I am waiting until X happens before I do Y. One of the most common ones that I hear involves weight loss. Many 30 something year olds would like to accomplish something that requires physical and mental dedication....so once they lose the extra pounds, they will train for a 5K. Or some of us afraid to work out in public and prefer to wait until we've lost the weight before joining a gym. In some cases, we are in pursuit of spirituality and religious knowledge, but want to wait until we have our minds right before pursuing a religious affiliation. My favorite of all times come from our 30 something year old brothers who want to "get their lives together" before pursuing a relationship or before taking the next step in a relationship. What are we really waiting for?

Life waits for no one. Many of us have attended enough funerals or heard about the passing of very young people to realize that there is no time to wait. Whether it's a new career, a chance at romance or pursuing our dreams, there is no time to wait. My mother always reminded  me not to put off to tomorrow what I can do today. And I think of that daily.

I often find myself in a place of comfort, not wanting to leave the perceived stability of my current, in  pursuit of what could be, or not be. And thereby miss out on a chance for something to change. Many 30 something year olds find ourselves stuck in a rut because we are waiting; for something to happen, for something to change or get better. Meanwhile, the hours are passing into days and soon enough years.

Do not wait for your skin to clear up before becoming more comfortable with your beautiful face. Do not wait to lose weight before pursuing anything, be it a date, clothes, love, job interviews etc. Do not wait for circumstances to be perfect before you take a chance at love. Do not wait for someone else to see the world, to go to the gym, to try that new restaurant, to see a play, to lose weight etc. Do not wait for a specific day/holiday before you do what you like. Do not wait for your bank account to reach a certain number to pursue what you really want to do. Do not wait to be less busy to spend time with people, or do things you've always wanted to do. Do not wait for the right circumstances to go back to school or pursue your career. Do not wait for the best circumstances to have children. Do not wait for a partner to be all that you can be.  And do not wait for the "right" time to tell those you love how you feel...the time may never come.

Chibok: Bring back our girls

I have been struggling to decide what my blog entry for this week should be. I have had so many thoughts flying around and could not find one that would settle long enough for a coherent string of words. As I pondered, I consulted with Facebook ® (yup, distraction ala motivation and research) and realized that like many of us, I have been sleeping on the news of the girls that were abducted in Nigeria.

I remember reading the news when it broke a few weeks ago, but did not keep up with it. In case you missed it, here's the synopsis:

In the middle of the night on April 14, 2014, over 200 young girls between the ages of 16 and 18 attending boarding school in the town of Chibok in North-Eastern Nigeria were abducted and their school buildings torched. Some of the girls were able to escape the attack. The details of the attack and what happened after are very fuzzy. It was initially reported that some of the girls were released, but as of now it sounds like at least 230 girls were taken. It is unclear which group has taken the girls though the proximity to local insurgent groups and the  magnitude of the abduction have narrowed down the possibilities. The government is reported to be negotiating for the release of the girls, but would not provide details. There have been some reports that the young girls have been married off to insurgents, an act not unusual in these circumstances. It has been over 2 weeks so far and frustrated and scared parents do not have many choices or resources to which they can turn. A march was recently organized to the capital of Nigeria to demand more action from the government. There is a call for awareness through social media using "#BringBackOurGirls" and "#WhereAreOurGirls".

Four of the students that escaped

And exhale! I am so heartbroken reading this news. It is so easy to get lost in my world and forget the daily tragedies happening elsewhere. The reality is that the problems in the world are endless, but it is very disheartening that some people's stories are over covered while other equally crucial stories are barely mentioned. 

The young women who have barely started their lives have been afforded an opportunity at education which is no small feat, especially in their region where there is a war on education. Many families risk their lives and sacrifice all they have in pursuit of an education to better their lives and provide their progeny a chance at more than they had. In this region and in many parts of the world, education, even in its basic level is a privilege and sometimes a risk factor for early death. Yet still many of these families, knowing the benefit, keep pushing and fighting for their young boys and girls to have a chance at a new future.

It is very humbling to think about my world and how often I taken my education for granted. I am lucky enough to have grown up in a part of the world, though not that far from these young women, where education was automatic and allowed. I often do not appreciate that had I been born in a different time, or in a different place this education that allows me to freely share my ideas and learn and grow would not have been possible.

It has been a challenge keeping up with news about the abduction, however let's continue to raise awareness for the return of the Chibok girls; their lives are as precious as any other person in this world. Let's not take for granted that being able to freely learn is a privilege.

The Dreadmill

In my Getting Started  post, I talked about being on the treadmill and how I started slowly and then built it up and was finally able to run for 5 miles. What a successful story of triumph over the treadmill and the gym....And flowers and rainbows and unicorns and yeaaaa, if only it were that simple.

Oh the treadmill, how I love/detest thee! I decided to use the treadmill as my starting point at the gym. It was an old and familiar friend that had gotten me to my weight loss goals in the past so it was easy to hop on and run walk.

At the beginning, I didn't think it would be very difficult. Though I wasn't in shape, it was something that I had done before. How out of shape could I really be?! Well I soon found out that I couldn't pass a high school PE class! Initially, this didn't bother me very  much, until I spotted all the forty, fifty, sixty and seventy year olds going at a faster pace. Goodness gracious, how embarrassing!

I started paying attention to my fellow competitors, I mean gym members. There was a huge variety of them and many like myself, favored the treadmill. I observed that some of them would cover the display screen with a magazine or towel, some would read the entire time (how could they do that and run?!), others would get on the treadmill and simply run, while others came with their gym buddies and spent  more time talking than walking. One guy in particular would come in, hop on the treadmill and run at a dizzying speed for about 30 to 45 min and then leave. Oh how I wanted to have that talent!

It's a Mental Thang
Armed with my observations, I put together my own version of my treadmill experience. I would usually start with a 2 minute walk to warm up. The first few minutes of running after that were the most difficult. If I could get my mind to push through, it was easy enough to complete the workout. I also started to understand why folks covered the display screen. I would be huffing and puffing on the treadmill, having beaten the first few minutes and convinced myself to stay on, only to look down and find out that I had only be on there for a total of 6 minutes and still had about 24 whole long minutes to go! My feet would feel like bricks and I would instantly feel completely tired!

Running on a motorized platform that was not going anywhere soon got old and required major mental muscle to stay on. I found distractions that kept me running. I had noticed a sign that was posted in front of my machine of choice (yes by this time I had a specific machine that I preferred and would wander around the gym until it became available).  The sign was simple enough: it alerted gym members that there was  time limit for treadmill use and referred members to a wait list at the front desk if all treadmills were in use. I noticed that the second treadmill in the sign had 3 L's instead of 2 and this became my focus to get through my runs. I would start running and immediately want to quit and look at the sign, chuckle a bit to myself and then stare it down for the remainder of the time, willing the 3rd L to disappear.


When this technique would not work, I would stare out the window in front of me and count the number of cars that went by. Or if there were children playing basketball, I would keep score for them or cheer for them as they developed their skills on the court. I also learned to trick my brain by convincing myself that once I had completed 50% or 60% or 75% of the workout, I could walk. Once I got to the agreed upon point, I would talk myself into finishing it. 

Once I became comfortable with the treadmill, I started competitive running. Well, ok, I competed with whomever was on the treadmill to them, unknown to them of course. I would slyly glance over to see their speed and at least match it, often times cranking mine up towards the end to beat them. That attempt to keep up would spur me on and I would often hit faster speeds than I intended just so that I can "beat" them!


Endurance
As I kept challenging my heart on the treadmill, I started noticing that it would take me a bit longer to get it racing. I also noticed that I didn't wear out as quickly doing other exercises.

 

HIIT

Since then I've learned how to be more efficient on the treadmill. I added a burst at the end of each run to challenge my heart: I started around 7.0 mph and have gone up to 9.5 mph. I also use the High Intensity Interval Training technique to burn maximum fat in the shortest period of time.  I start with a 2-3 minute warm up (walk), followed by 2 minutes at 6.7 mph, 40 sec at 7.5 mph and 20 sec at 9.0 mph and then 2 min rest at 3.0-4.0 mph and then repeat it. I do about 3-5 sets of this for a total of 15-25 minutes. This technique can be done at any level; the key is to find a goal speed and work towards it.   

 

Though I found the treadmill to be a dread, it became the starting point for my come back into fitness. With the newfound endurance I'm able to push myself in all my workouts. The weight loss I experienced as a result of the treadmill helped build my confidence to keep working on my fitness and weight loss goals.

 

Lessons learned

1. Just run: whether it's on the treadmill or out in the open, just run (jog) or walk if that's what works

2. It takes a time and consistent effort to build endurance. Lack of consistency will require restarting each time. 

3. Like anything in life, if you believe it, you can make great friends with the treadmill

4. Distracting yourself on the treadmill can allow you to push through an especially tough workout

5. A little friendly competition is good for your heart

6. HIIT is an efficient way to maximize your workout, it can be done on the treadmill or really with any cardio workout.

7. The treadmill is a good starting point, as well as a great part of a workout at any level.

 

Did you see what this guy does on the treadmill?! Anything to keep you going!

 

 

Half-stepping diva

Getting started

The last time I was in Ghana, everyone commented on how much weight I had gained. Most people hadn't seen me in years and immediately noticed that I was carrying some extra...ahem.."curves". I took this in stride though I had myself been having internal battles about my weight and resolved that something had to be done pronto.

My first time on the treadmill, I started a brisk walk at 3.5 mph; shortly after I had to take that down to 2.0 mph. I breathlessly stayed on there for about 15 minutes before giving up. A friend had started instructing a class called Zumba Fitness and had asked me to come to the class to support her. I had never heard of it but was delighted to be there at her debut. After the warm up song, I thought my heart was going to beat itself out of my chest and plop onto the floor. I hung in there, completely convinced that it would just take the next song to get me closer to my demise. It was a wonderful experience that had me wishing I could come back the next day for more!  I took my first yoga class shortly after Zumba. I was amazed that the instructor's gut stretched out further past mine; how could she be the instructor. I had to pick my face off the floor when she folded herself into a nice pretzel shortly afterwards...I had clearly misjudged that book by the cover! I struggled through the poses and noticed that I was the youngest in the class and the least flexible!

It took a few false starts for me to get to working out. Other than Zumba, I had a hard time getting to the gym. I would get home from work "exhausted", eat and sit in front of the TV for a few minutes which would quickly stretch into an hour and then two and then wow, the gym is closing in 30 minutes, I'll just have to wake up really early tomorrow so that I can go before work. Or other times I'll get home, change and eat something and then "let the food digest a bit". This digestion process would generally take about 2 hours and by the time I realized it was too late. Or sometimes it would rain...who wants to walk 20 brief seconds in the rain, drive 5 minutes and then take another brief 20 second walk in the rain, anyhow.

Many other times I would actually get into the gym, start working out only to experience a cramp, or my chest might start to hurt, or shin hurt or something else would flare up, like the heartburn that only showed up when I was working out...and well  I couldn't work out through any of that, so my run would slow into a walk and I would abandon the workout all together.

I soon realized that I wasn't going to get anywhere with this inconsistency at the gym. I was able to figure out all the self-placed obstacles/ excusese and worked on removing them. I prepped my food for the day to include a snack that I could eat shortly before my workout. I can't quite remember what I would eat during that beginning stage, but my pre-workout snacks have included a banana and peanuts/peanut butter, 8 oz chocolate milk, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, yogurt with pineapple, cereal with milk, trail mix, and a granola bar. I also started watching my spicy food intake: I realized that I could eat spicy foods until about 1pm after which I would need some kind of antacid to combat the heartburn. I learned breathing exercises that would help me through the side cramps and learned to ignore the pain anywhere else. I also organized my workout clothes separately so that I didn't have to spend time digging through to find something decent to wear.


As my workouts increased I subscribed to anything that had to do with weight loss. I read all those articles, you know which ones...10 things you must do at the gym, 10 other things you should be doing, Are you sabotaging your workout, 50 ways to eat fruit, 50 more ways to eat fruit, 10 superfoods of 2009, new superfoods of 2010, the superfoods of the future you should be eating now! Supplements, are they for you? Your 21 day workout plan, Your 21 day total body work plan, Your 21 day abs workout plan, Did you stretch your booty today?
What? Ok, i'm making them up, but I have read a lot of articles about health and fitness since 2009. I also signed up for various online journal sources, or health vaults and trackers and food diaries etc.

So with my new found dedication, my new knowledge about how to lose weight, I plowed ahead expecting pounds to fall off as easily as I'd gained them. After about a month of getting into my groove, I stepped on the scale to find that I had lost 0 pounds! I was completely shattered. It didn't work! I was eating like they said, I was working out....I was in the gym as much as those working there for goodness sakes!

Once I calmed down, well after I binged on some chocolate in response, I pulled out one of those articles...it promised that I would "Lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks". What? Sign me up! The program would meet me at whatever speed I could run, which by this time had climbed up to about 4.0mph or a 15 min mile pace on the treadmill. I started the 6 week challenge and by the end of the year run for 5 miles at 5.0mph or a 12 min mile. And the scale, she moved! Not quite 10 pounds, but I saw my first significant change.

Lessons learned.
1. Start where you are most comfortable; the beginning of your new lifestyle should not be when you try something new.
2. If you're not enjoying your workout, you will not be consistent
3. Spending time working out does not automatically result in change; effort is just as important as showing up
4. It's easy to make excuses as to why we don't do something, and it's easy to talk ourselves into believing the excuse
5. Some of us need a program to stay on course: for me the running program allowed me to try harder each day
6. Motivation is important and oftentimes in life, we have to learn how to motivate ourselves.

In the first few months of starting my new lifestyle, I learned that there was much work to be done. It wasn't as easy as it had been in the past and I had a lot to learn about myself and my body. I truly thought at the time that it wouldn't take me very long to get the weight off, but have since learned that like many other aspects of our life, weight loss requires finding the right formula for our individual situation. It has taken me about 4 years to find that formula and I certainly hope it takes you much less time than that.

Half-stepping diva